In today’s world, where everything moves at lightning speed, we’re constantly making fast decisions.
This applies to admissions committees, too. The pressure of their job forces them to make very quick decisions about whose applications they will invest more time in and whose will merit only an obligatory but cursory review before being set aside.
Their reality is one of managing an overwhelming volume of applications with limited time for review, so when you’re applying to business school, medical school, graduate school, or college, you must capture your reader’s attention with the very first lines of your essay. Your opening sentence cannot fall flat. It needs to pull your reader immediately into your narrative. Every word counts.
Engaging Your Readers Right From the Start
Think of your essay’s first line as the opening of a great novel. You want your reader to think, “I need to know more!” Let’s take a look at some good examples:
- Horns blare as tiny auto rickshaws and bicycle-powered school buses weave through the crowded streets of Old Delhi.
- After a near disaster on my first week as a case manager at a community center for women and children, I realized that to succeed, I’d have to suppress my anger at how poorly things were being run.
- My aunt’s cancer had spread throughout her body before anyone had diagnosed it properly – too late for treatment. That moment changed everything for me, making my interest in science personal.
- From the age of seven, while struggling with math but excelling in spelling tests and writing stories, I knew I was meant to be a writer.
Notice a trend? Three out of these four openers are personal stories. There’s no mention of GPAs or scientific breakthroughs. The first example is so vibrant and full of action that we instantly want to know who’s experiencing this scene. In each case, the reader’s curiosity is piqued, and that’s what you want.
A strong opener will include three key elements:
- A glimpse of your theme or story – who you are, what you’re passionate about, and the path you’re on
- Creative details or descriptions – something that paints a picture and grabs attention
- Energetic writing – language that makes the reader feel like they can’t stop until they’ve read the entire essay
Your opening should show a connection between where you’ve been and where you’re heading. Here are a few more examples:
- It was pitch black when we quietly climbed into the back of a truck, beginning our journey to freedom.
- Only six months after launching my start-up, I realized the money wasn’t flowing in – just out the window.
- Finding a green, scratched 1960s Cadillac in a junkyard last summer made me realize that mechanical engineering was my calling.
These lines pull you in. You can’t help but want to know the rest of the story. When done right, these kinds of personal anecdotes don’t just offer facts – they paint a picture, making your story more real and engaging.
Having read these examples, you might now have some ideas for your own essay introduction. Start by jotting down some key moments in your life that helped shape your career or academic goals. Maybe it was a job experience, a family event, or a “light bulb” moment that made you realize what you wanted to do.
For example, an electrical engineering applicant might remember the first time their home lost power and realize that that was the moment they discovered their career path. A future MBA student might recall a pivotal time when they helped a struggling person understand financial basics, which sparked their interest in nonprofit work. A law school applicant might recount witnessing a courtroom scene during an internship that inspired them to specialize in criminal law.
Once you’ve created a list of these defining moments, dig deeper. What stood out about each one? How did it make you feel? What sensory details can you include (what did you see, hear, or smell)? These tiny details will help you build a narrative that draws your reader in.
Still struggling to find that perfect hook? Our team of experts is here to help! We can guide you through crafting an essay that stands out, from brainstorming a compelling opening line to polishing the final draft. You’ve got a great story to tell. Let’s make sure the admissions committee doesn’t miss it.
Kara Keenan Sweeney has more than 15 years of experience in MBA admissions, having worked for some of the world’s top business school programs, including Columbia Business School, INSEAD, and The Lauder Institute’s joint degree MA/MBA program with The Wharton School and the MA/JD program with Penn Law at the University of Pennsylvania. Kara has guided, coached, and counseled thousands of MBA and EMBA applicants, reviewed innumerable applications, sat on admissions committees, and interviewed countless applicants, including while running Wharton’s Team Based Discussions both virtually and in person. Want Kara to help you get Accepted? Click here to get in touch!
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