by Sundas Ali
Writing a Compelling Accomplishment Essay
A fascinating discussion among Accepted’s admissions consultants revealed that MBA applicants don’t always understand how adcoms define an accomplishment, so we wrote this post to help remove the guesswork for you.
Here are the kinds of accomplishments you should strive to include in your essay:
Examples of Impact and Initiative
In your accomplishment essay, providing examples of times when you have had an impact or taken initiative will show the adcom that you have the “right stuff” and that you have had a meaningful influence on a person, organization, or entity. For example, maybe you proactively stepped up to boost membership in a group or to lead a team to victory. Perhaps you built a coalition in student government. Or maybe you increased sales, cut costs, or found a solution to a problem that paved the way for a critical deal to go forward.
When you are assessing whether an achievement belongs in an application essay about your greatest accomplishments, consider the level of impact it had and/or the initiative it demonstrates. You might now be wondering whether awards count. It depends. If you won an award for a published story you wrote, your performance in an athletic competition, or some other “personal best,” then yes, those would be excellent choices for an essay about a personal achievement.
More often, however, you will be asked to write about a significant achievement that has impact beyond your own personal growth. In these situations, an appropriate award would be one that resulted from an effort – either academic or professional – that involved a team or people other than yourself. This is the kind of achievement that transcends a “personal best.”
By now, you can probably see the difference between a primarily personal achievement and a career-related one. And you might already recognize some of your accomplishments that would be notable enough to write about.
A good way to find potential experiences for your accomplishments essay is by reviewing your resume. Ideally, it will be loaded with quantifiable achievements from both your professional and extracurricular roles. If you work in marketing and clinched four new accounts in a single year, leading to a promotion, that’s an achievement. If you work for a social service agency and developed a new client intake system that the agency adopted, leading to a more organized and streamlined process, that’s an achievement. In college, you might have been involved in a student organization that promotes career development and leadership among minority students, and even became president of that organization. That’s an achievement.
Which experiences on your resume stand out to you now? No doubt you’ll start to see things popping out at you.
Seemingly small achievements can actually be big. The following sample essay offers a great example of an impact that initially seems limited to one person but that ultimately radiates outward:
From the first day I was tasked with mentoring a new hire, Thomas, it was a challenge. He had strong work experience in product development, but he was soft-spoken and reserved, and had a pronounced stutter. I felt for him as he struggled to complete a word or sentence, and it was awkward for both of us whenever I waited for him to make his point. During a department meeting, I saw someone actually roll their eyes as Thomas was answering a question. I just glared at them for being so cold. At our weekly department lunches, which were meant to be a relaxed social time for everyone, Thomas hung back quietly, seeming a million miles away.
I didn’t understand why Thomas seemed a little slow to catch on to our department’s ways. He was clearly very intelligent. It was taking me longer to complete my own work because I was spending so much time with him on his assignments. One afternoon, on a whim, I invited him to join me for dinner at a popular burger place. He looked surprised but agreed.
That night broke the ice. Thomas relaxed and enjoyed his dinner, and I noticed his speech was more fluid. We discovered a mutual love of soccer and political thriller novels. I really enjoyed his company and told him so. We went out again the following week to an Italian place he chose. On our third “date,” Thomas opened up about a broken engagement that had occurred just before he started this new job. He was aware that his grief was distracting him, clouding his thinking, and worsening his stutter.
“I know I’ve not been easy to train,” he told me. “But I’m starting to come out of it now.” After that night, Thomas’s work improved rapidly. He began speaking up more at the weekly lunches and in meetings, and everyone was patient when he struggled to say something, though those moments gradually became less frequent.
I consider this mentoring experience one of my greatest accomplishments, because in trying to befriend a coworker, I not only gained a true friend but also helped him gain confidence and perform to his full potential at work. It was the first time in my life that I felt I had such a strong and positive impact on another person. It showed me the power of small gestures of friendship and understanding.
This writer’s decision to offer a listening ear to a coworker who was clearly in distress became an inspiring achievement that was both personal and professional. His actions had an impact that extended beyond Thomas to the entire department and organization.
Evidence of Having Overcome Obstacles
Showing the adcom that you have overcome obstacles, such as a lack of resources (e.g., time, money, talent, people), magnifies your accomplishments. Our best-laid plans rarely go smoothly, so make sure you discuss any difficulties you faced. Be aware that obstacles can often serve “double-duty,” not only by representing a setback you navigated but also by showing that you emerged from the experience wiser and more capable. When discussing obstacles, never blame other people or circumstances, or complain about the unfairness of the situation. Pointing fingers makes you look small and as though you are trying to avoid accountability. State the facts simply, and the situation will speak for itself.
Here’s an example of how one applicant dealt with a significant obstacle:
My book launch had been planned for nearly a year. This was my first book, a biography of my great-grandmother, a trailblazing homeopathic physician who lived at a time when few women were even regular MDs. I wanted to self-publish but knew that this involved a significant amount of work that I didn’t feel suited for: editing, design, layout, marketing, getting the book accepted into the book distribution system, logistics, and more. Most published books are quickly forgotten and sell only a few copies. I didn’t want that to happen to mine.
My solution was to sign an agreement with my friend Haley to publish my book. She was a talented graphic artist who had set up her own publishing company to publish her husband’s book. Our agreement outlined our individual financial obligations and responsibilities, but I had a nagging worry. Her marriage was tumultuous, and she was prone to impulsive decisions.
Six weeks before the publication date, a popular book blogger promised me a 5-star review on her blog. I also sold an excerpt to a women’s magazine with more than 4 million readers. I was still doing my “happy dance” when Haley called to say our deal was off. She was leaving her husband and driving to stay with her mother, who lived in another state. She said she’d be in touch to work something out. She didn’t say when.
I was furious and anguished. My biggest problem was that the book’s ISBNs (identification numbers) for print and digital downloads were assigned to Haley’s company and could not be reassigned to anyone else. Haley also held the distribution and payment agreements in her name. I could have kicked myself for not listening to my intuition, which had warned me against working with someone whose life was so upside-down.
I researched my options. Although the ISBNs could not be transferred to me, if I bought her publishing company, I would own her ISBNs. I had no idea whether Haley would agree to my proposal or how we would work out the terms, but the only way to save my book was to do the very thing I had tried to avoid: become a publisher myself.
The following week, Haley agreed to sell me her publishing company for a token amount. It had no assets, and I had already paid for all book-related costs except Haley’s time. She also promised to help me transition all the accounts. I decided not to look too far ahead and just focus on giving my book the best possible send-off into the world. I ultimately renamed the publishing company after my great-grandmother.
This story about a close call with a publishing disaster reveals the applicant’s ability to stretch beyond what she thought she could do and to keep moving toward her goal. Making lemonade out of lemons this way is certainly an achievement worth sharing.
Demonstrated Leadership
Leadership accomplishments that work well in application essays usually involve one’s ability to influence, motivate, persuade, direct, and collaborate effectively with others.
To identify strong examples for your accomplishment essay, think about how you have worked with others – how you led a team, what you learned, and so on. What specifically did you do in your role as a leader that can demonstrate your leadership skills to the adcom? What did you learn about leadership, and how did you grow as a leader through the experience?
In the following essay example, the applicant’s leadership-related accomplishment seems almost accidental, but it had a profound influence on her career path:
My job teaching at a private school began uneventfully. I had a class of bright 4th graders, with only a handful expected to be “challenging.” I loved my supervisor, Monica, who was a gifted teacher but new to her role as a team lead, overseeing the 3rd and 4th grades. In addition to teaching one class of her own, Monica was expected to create interventions for struggling students, incentivize specific behaviors or achievements, plan events and trips, and offer guidance to teachers.
Monica quickly showed that her skills were strong in the classroom but not in administration. She let teachers’ requests for interventions or advice pile up, and she grew testy when I reminded her that I was waiting for her feedback. I wanted to work with her, not against her, so I offered to help. I suggested we meet twice a week after school to review her inbox, which is how I discovered that she focused much better when I sat and listened to her discuss the situations. Although I had only two years’ experience as a teacher, Monica still seemed to value my opinion on handling awkward situations, such as when a wealthy parent on the school’s board of directors refused to face the reality of her daughter’s chronic aggression in class. This case was bigger than the two of us. We agreed that Monica needed to bring it to the headmistress of the school for her intervention.
About halfway through the year, Monica and I were still meeting regularly. It was an unexpected partnership, and it was clear to both of us that she wanted to return to full-time teaching. I realized that administrative tasks and decision-making came more naturally to me than to her, and that after a few more years of teaching experience and a master’s degree in education, I might enjoy a job like hers.
Another person in Monica’s situation might have become angry or resentful about my trying to play a role in her job. She could have shut me out completely. But Monica and I became friends, and I learned a lot by watching her dynamism in the classroom. Additionally, she courageously told the headmistress about our arrangement and asked whether the school could pay me for my extra hours – which it did.
This was a totally unexpected situation that helped me realize that I wanted to take a fork in the road of my career in education.
Identifying experiences in your life when you have shown initiative and impact, overcome obstacles, and demonstrated leadership will help you write an essay worthy of a chef’s kiss!
Are you thinking about what information to include to craft a winning accomplishments essay? Team up with an Accepted consultant to help identify your best material. As your partner and guide in this process, we will ensure that your selections make you stand out for all the right reasons!
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