by Marie Todd
How Your Parents Can Help with Your College Essays
No matter how much your parents love you and want the best for you, their attempts to help you with your college application essays can sometimes go awry. In some cases, their personal concerns, biases, and style might do more to impede your progress than encourage it, even though they have your best interests at heart. This can add stress to an already challenging process for you both.
In this post, we offer tips for including your parent(s) in your college essay process in ways that minimize conflict, optimize their support, and increase the odds that your essay writing experience will be smooth and productive.
Have a family meeting.
Scheduling a time to sit down together to discuss your college essays gives both you and your parents an opportunity to honestly state your individual needs and fears, and to establish a better understanding of the process. The key is to ensure that everyone feels heard. Be careful not to shut your parents out; make sure to listen to them respectfully and consider their views.
Be honest with your parents about the kind of help you want/need from them.
While it’s important to let your parents know that you are confident you can manage your essays on your own, they will probably want to be included in some way and to feel that you value their insights. So be clear in explaining the ways you would like for them to support you. For example, you might be interested in hearing their ideas for essay topics, or you could want their help in editing your drafts. They might also support you by enlisting the services of a professional college admissions counselor, like the ones at Accepted.
Share your college application deadline calendar with your parents.
Your parents might worry about your ability to complete all the necessary writing tasks in time, given all the other activities on your plate during your senior year, so make sure they are aware of your target schools’ submission deadlines. This way they won’t be constantly wondering whether you’re on schedule or nagging you about your timeline. Offer to update your parents on your progress once a week, but not more often. To ensure that you stay on track, make sure to schedule plenty of writing and editing time for each essay (plan for at least three revisions of each draft, if not four).
Thank your parents for their support.
A great (and easy) way to reassure your parents that you are mature enough to handle this task is by demonstrating that you’re also mature enough to validate and acknowledge what they have always done to support you and what they are doing now with respect to your college plans. Showing your appreciation will go a long way in reassuring them that you are taking the application process seriously and will let them know if you need further assistance.
Make a plan to celebrate!
Mark your calendars for when you intend to submit your last application, and plan how you will celebrate that milestone together! Having that to look forward to will be great motivation, and your parents will proactively know that they’ll be included in the happy moment.
Marie Todd has been involved in college admissions for more than 20 years. Marie has both counseled applicants to top colleges and evaluated more than 5,000 applications for the University of Michigan’s College of Literature, Science, and the Arts; College of Engineering; School of Kinesiology; School of Nursing; and Taubman College of Architecture. Want Marie to help you get accepted? Click here to get in touch.
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