And Moses said unto the Lord, “If I shall lead the people, than I shall lead them right. My leadership experience is as vast as the Nile from whence I was taken and as deep as the Jordan through which I shall guide my people, but it shall only be through the prestige and glory of a top MBA that I may truly become the leader that Thou desires of me.”
And the Lord replied unto Moses, “If thou workest hard and use these 10 Commandments which I shall present unto thee now, then thou shall surely gain admission to the b-school of thy dreams.”
And with powerful winds, and deafening thunder, and the majestic blasts of the sacred ram’s horn, the heavens opened up and the 10 Commandments of MBA Admissions descended unto Moses, for he was to pursue and acquire an MBA and deliver the people into the Promised Land of Prosperity and Success.
1. Be true to thine own self.
Honor thyself by writing not that which thou think thy readers desire to hear, but that which thou truly wishes to share.
2. Submit thyself to the first round.
Submit thy MBA applications Round 1 PROVIDED that thou does not compromise the quality of thy application.
3. Remember the deadline, and keep thy distance from it.
A rushed application shalt not portray thee as thy best self, and so thou must schedule thy application to-do’s in a timely, organized fashion. As I, thy Lord, took my time creating this world in perfection, so shall thou create thy application with care and attention to detail. Thou shalt not get too close to the deadline by submitting thy application within minutes of the buzzer. Thou must give thyself adequate time to allow for technological problems or last-minute corrections.
4. Honor thy reader and thy days at b-school will arrive shortly upon thee.
Love thy readers and honor them, for they are holy and hold the keys to acceptance. Honor them by answering their questions accurately and providing them with all information that they request from you.
5. Honor thy recommenders and they shalt not forsake thee.
Give thy recommenders ample time and materials so they shall have time and information from which to create stellar MBA recommendation.
6. Do penance for past misdeeds.
For thou hast sinned gravely by performing poorly on the GMAT or by slacking off during thy first semester of college, thereby dragging down thy GPA. Thou art commanded to improve greatly on such misdeeds by retaking the GMAT or enrolling in relevant classes over the summer to prove to thy great and mighty adcom readers that thou are not a slacker by nature and that thou has the skills to succeed in b-school.
7. Thou shalt not kill.
If thou write boring application essays, then it shall be like thou hast killed thy reader’s interest in your candidacy, for no reader shall ever desire to lay his eyes upon thy application or thyself.
8. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
And if thou shall commit adultery, thou shalt not write about it, or any other inappropriate or irrelevant topics, in thy MBA application essays.
9. Thou shalt not steal.
The adcom’s time shall be neither wasted nor stolen for the adcom’s time is holy. Thou shall only create interesting, memorable MBA application essays that do not merely repeat information found elsewhere in thy application. .
10. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thyself.
White lies shall banish thee from thy target b-school. Thou shall avoid fabrications and embellishments of all shapes and sizes at all times. For such actions are unforgivable in the eyes of the adcom.
And as it was written, so it was done. And so must thou doest if thou desires acceptance to thy top choice school.
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