A few weeks ago I went to a meeting for bereaved mothers, mothers who have lost a child. The passing of our youngest child several years ago made me eligible for this club that anyone would do anything to stay out of.
One of the women in this group, let’s call her Nancy, told about a trip she recently took to attend the wedding of a close relative’s daughter. Two days before the wedding the groom called it off. Needless to say the spurned bride and her family were upset. Terribly upset. They kept talking about this catastrophe, this tragedy that had befallen them and their daughter. While Nancy and her husband could certainly understand the pain and disappointment, the talk of “tragedy” was driving them up the wall.
Nancy’s husband, Bill, took his relative aside, “Look I can understand that this is painful. It is terribly disappointing. But it is NOT a tragedy. It’s probably for the best. Your daughter will find someone else.”
The relative protested, “But our daughter is so hurt. So embarrassed. In so much pain.”
“Yes I understand that. This is a big disappointment and terribly painful, but you have to help her see it as a dreadful disappointment — not a catastrophe. It isn’t a catastrophe, and it is not a tragedy. I’ve experienced tragedy, and this isn’t it.”
What does this story have to do with you?
This blog is about getting accepted. It is replete with admissions news and advice to help you get that fat envelope. However, I simply can’t ignore the fact that some of you won’t get in, or certainly won’t get into the first school that sends you its decision. And I want to help all our readers.
With decisions starting to come out for early action and early decision candidates and for the first round MBA deadlines, it’s time to point out that rejection is a dismaying bump on the road of life, an obstacle to go around or overcome, a sign that you may need to reassess your qualifications, school choices, and application. But, it is not more than that.
How will you react if you don’t get the nod? Will you view a denied application as a disappointment? Or as a tragedy?
If the latter, I know a group of bereaved women who can set you straight.
By Linda Abraham, president and founder of Accepted. Linda earned her bachelors and MBA at UCLA, and has been advising applicants since 1994 when she founded Accepted. Linda is the co-founder and first president of AIGAC. She has written or co-authored 13 e-books on the admissions process, and has been quoted by The Wall Street Journal, U.S. News, Poets & Quants, Bloomberg Businessweek, CBS News, and others. Linda is the host of Admissions Straight Talk, a podcast for graduate school applicants. Want an admissions expert help you get accepted? Click here to get in touch!
