To write a compelling personal statement or application essay, you need to draw readers into your experience without much set-up. You have to get to the heart of the matter quickly and at the same time make the reader care to read on. Visualizing a particular moment from a situation that disappointed or thrilled you will show you how you can start an essay about a disappointment, an obstacle, an intellectual or creative passion or a lucky break with a short scene.
To write a scene effectively you can start with these phrases to gather your images:
- I smelled …
- I heard …
- I saw …
- I felt …
Once you have the scene you might open with wholly detailed in your mind, you will have a much easier time writing in a way that will hook your audience. An essay that includes a scene might start this way:
My father showed us a home video shot when I was in Kindergarten, and I saw my young self at my older brother’s electronic keyboard. I saw that I was happy playing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” for an audience of Teddy bears. I realized I’ve always been happiest when I am playing a tune or classical piece for others. After many years of study, today, I am pianist in our state’s best orchestra. Not only have I performed up and down the Eastern Seaboard, I have also traveled to Europe and the Mediterranean with the orchestra and heard many fine orchestras as well as played with their musicians.
There is no more effective way to involve the reader of your essay than with images and details used right from the start. Try your hand at collecting some using phrases that will help you get in touch with your senses.
By Sheila Bender, author of Perfect Phrases for College Application Essays, a great book on writing college application essays, but more about that soon. In the meantime, if you would like an Accepted.com editor to personally guide you as you write your application essay, please review our application essay editing services.
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