(Continuing my series on essays that sound like baby talk and are frequently application killers.)
Don’t hide your lucid answers to essay questions behind meaningless verbiage and abused clichés. I recently read an interview with a recent MBA grad on BW. (to protect the guilty, I won’t link .)
"As a new company in a new space, we need to exceed client expectations, so first and foremost I drive client projects in the health-care and telecom verticals. But my job requires an internal focus as well, and I spend a ton of time both building and updating scalable systems, from knowledge management to invoicing and payroll."
Ouch!!! I suppose this fellow is highly intelligent, and I hope he is good at what he does, but don’t write like he talks. Write directly and clearly so people can understand you. Can the buzz! Perhaps a translation would be:
"As a new company entering a new market, we need to impress our clients with outstanding performance. I personally manage projects for clients in the health-care and telecom industries. But in addition to serving our clients, I am striving to build our business by ensuring that all our systems from personnel to invoicing support our growth."
For more on what real writers (and readers) think of the latest in vapid jargon, please see: