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Admissions Essay Tip: 5 Fatal Flaws to Avoid

A little over six months ago I wrote about my lousy mood after the departure of my daughter, son-in-law, and worst of all, one and only grandchild. I'm in the same funk now for the very same reason. After a wonderful four-week visit in Los Angeles, where I live, my children had the audacity to return to their faraway home with our grandson.

During their all-too-short visit I enjoyed watching our 13-month-old grandson, Avi, communicate --something he does quite well considering that he doesn't talk at all. I couldn't help but notice that he loves to give speeches complete with gestures, hand motions, facial expression and changes in volume and tone. He clearly thinks he is conversing because he has the forms and seems to make the right noises.

Sometimes in writing essays, applicants make the right noises, including "leadership" "communications skills," "teamwork," and "analytical abilities." They may even embellish their essay with a rhetorical flourish or two, but their essays are as empty and occasionally as nonsensical as Avi's baby talk – and a lot less cute.

5 Fatal Flaws:

  • Lack of substance – nothing demonstrating the qualities claimed.
  • Failure to answer the question.
  • Clichéd.
  • Superficial.
  • Muddled thinking.

So if you don't want your essays to read like Avi's gibberish, you have a few options:

  1. Subscribe to this blog, the Accepted Admissions Almanac, where I will teach you over the next several weeks how to protect your essays from these flaws .
  2. Purchase Submit a Stellar Application: 42 Terrific Tips to Help You Get Accepted, where I cover these issues.
  3. Ask Accepted.com's pros to edit your prose.

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Reader Comments (2)

Hi Mom (Ima),

I just wanted to tell you that what Avi is really saying is how much he loves you, and that he forgives you for calling his speech "nonsensical." And we miss you too Ima!!

- Stephen
November 2, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterStephen
I appreciate your wonderful interpretation of Avi's remarks. Afterall, you're his daddy and it's very important that you understand each other.

But bring him back!

-Ima

November 3, 2005 | Registered CommenterLinda Abraham

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